OH MAN!!! Do we ABSOLUTELY HAVE A SHOW FOR YOU THIS MONDAY! (editors note: all our shows are GREAT, but few carry quite the same level of perceived audience deficiency if you manage to MISS THIS SHOW! i.e. “You’re MAD STUPID, if you miss this!”) We have a double feature, by CRISTIN O’KEEFE APTOWICZ and SHAPPY SEASHOLTZ! Two legends of the New York City Urbana Poetry Slam Scene that runs crazy game at the Bowery Poetry Club. They currently live and work in Philadelphia and are taking an all too brief excursion to New England for a couple shows! (crazy thanks to Megan Thoma, for hooking us up with the word)! Write Bloody Publishing Author, CRISTIN O’KEEFE APTOWICZ has five books of poetry (Dear Future Boyfriend, Hot Teen Slut, Working Class Represent, Oh, Terrible Youth and Everything is Everything) and a nonfiction book, Words In Your Face: A Guided Tour Through Twenty Years of the New York City Poetry Slam, which Billy Collins wrote “leaves no doubt that the slam poetry scene has achieved legitimacy and taken its rightful place on the map of contemporary literature.” Born and raised in Philadelphia, Aptowicz moved to New York City at the age of 17. At age 19, she founded the three-time National Poetry Slam championship poetry series NYC-Urbana, which is still held weekly at the NYC’s famed Bowery Poetry Club. Aptowicz is currently serving as the 2010-2011 ArtsEdge Writer-In-Residence at the University of Pennsylvania and was recently awarded a 2011 National Endowment of the Arts Fellowship in Poetry. check out her site

Penmanship Books Author SHAPPY SEASHOLTZ originally hails from Chicago, Illinois, spent years playing the surly barkeep at the world famous BOWERY POETRY CLUB since it opened in 2002, won a National Poetry Slam Championship with New York Urbana Team in 2002, co-slam-mastered and hosted their weekly poetry slam, NYC-URBANA. He has toured with Lollapalooza, has been featured on season three of HBO’S DEF POETRY and has been running the National Nerd Slam for the past 8 years. He has complete run of H.R. Puffnstuff comics, a vintage Charlie Tuna lamp and a robot that plays 8-tracks. THESE TWO DON’T TRAVEL TOGETHER NEARLY ENOUGH! THIS IS ONE OF THEIR ONLY SHOWS IN THE AREA, AND ARE GONNA BUST YOUR GUT w/ laughter and tremendous poetry!

MUSICAL GUEST: JAMES KEYES – Local Singer Songwriter making waves with his Album, Ruminations, recorded in a brothel basement where Babe Ruth once drank bootleg booze! With an edgy stripped down sound, this alternatively country, smoky, bluesy, folks- man is no stranger to Ralph’s or most juke joints in the area for that matter. His latest full length album’s getting great reviews and we’re psyched to welcome him to the Gerund for the first time! a tough no-bullshit set of songs sitting pissed and drunken between Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Johnny Cash, Nick Cave, and Waylon Jennings, most of the tracks stripped down to basics and hiding from nothing.” (Mark Tucker, We recently played a charity gig he put together last November and dig his style. Check out and get a listen!

GUEST VISUAL ARTISTMATTY HUGHES came near to stealing the show a month ago when he paint color swirled two canvases into one beautiful piece that lit a creative spark under any ass in the house (including his own!) He wants back on stage, or as close to it as possible for another crack at visual arts collaborative glory! He broke Dirty Gerund Auction Records with his first attempt, only to be edged out by Aaron White a few weeks later. Aaron & Matty’s are great friends. When I we tried to egg him on and invite him back to reclaim the record, he got real shy and modest and really cool and humble and all and just wanted to add his art to our art, so I guess we’ll just have to go auction crazy for him! Bring some dough, or plastic, we’ll again be rocking our credit card machine for anyone who likes to handle biz that way!


Has Champion BOBBY GIBBS been drinking Black n’ Tans out of our trophy for too long? Does Poets Asylum Co-Host ELIZABETH HEATH have the killer instinct to finish him off in battle and lay claim to this sort of destiny? Three original poetic concoctions (haiku, short poem and incorporation), 3 judges, 3 criteria (taste, presentation and use of secret ingredient) and one bomb ass secret ingredient from CHAIRMAN YOSH will help decide what exactly is what! Heath earned a hard fought victory over Sarah Sapienza last Month and has earned the right to wear the apron! Bobby’s been mowing down all opponents and is starting to swagger a bit too vociferously. Let’s let the poets be poets. Winner wins ever so fleeting glory!

THIS IS A BIG SHOW – we are going to do our ABSOLUTE BEST TO GET THIS STARTED BY 9pm! Open Mic-ers, one poem please! LARRY, CHUCK & TAYLOR are there to back your words up with that sweet sweet instrumentation! Yosh may delegate Secret Ingredient Picking Duties to Chicken, but will probably take the credit as well he should! Nick’s slipping 6 hour energy shots into his 5 hour energy shots again! Best in Burgers and Beverages are yours for the buying! $2-543 suggested donation! Who’s got the culinary arts component known only as snack-time? Let us know! Lights! Video Cameras! ACTION!

Let’s take you out with some footage of our Musical Guest!

2 Responses to “Monday, Jan 17th! NYC SLAM LEGENDS, CRISTIN O’KEEFE APTOWICZ & SHAPPY SEASHOLTZ!!! Musical Guest JAMES KEYES! Iron Poet CHAMPIONSHIP “Gibbs vs. Heath!””

  1. Snack Time will be provided by the culinarily obsessed Emilee Morreale. It will be something to warm hearts and tummies.

  2. big fan from first purview. Damn the torpedoes

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