POETRY FEATURE(S) – GARY HOARE is a Worcester legend! We finally talked him into coming to visit! One of the most maniacally funny individuals to ever grace the Worcester Poetry Slam Team, from life in the advertising lane, to radio alarm clocks to pancakes, this juggernaut can keep you rolling when he chooses to! A talented graphic artist as well as veteran of several National Poetry Slam Teams, Gary’s actually quite shy and thoughtful when he’s not blasting off into space! Performance chops galore, damn fine writing and that willingness to visit the places too many of us take for granted. Gary’s also generous and wishes to grace the stage with Boston friend and poet EMILY CARROLL, a freelance writer, editor, designer, teaching artist, and waitress. She is a MassLEAP teaching artist and a Co-curator of Moonlighting, the Boston Poetry Slam’s new show celebrating the LGBTQ poetry community. Emily holds a BFA from Emerson College, where she was Co-curator and SlamMaster of the Emerson Poetry Project. She lives in Jamaica Plain with her partner and PJ, the wonder pug of Forest Hills. She’s also just been published in Umbrella Factory. Two features for the price of one?! Hell yeah!

BONUS RUCKUS: “Nick’s Choice” – Let’s be real, I’ve been working 20 hour days preparing for the second Louder than a Bomb Youth Festival that I co-founded last year. You’re a jerk if you don’t go. (not really, but yeah) I got no time to think or write up a tasty bonus ruckus for this week. Nick’s choice. If he reads this blog post, thinks of something and brings it monday. yay! If not… well…

We’ll have a band! We’ll have snacks! We’ll have a guest visual artist, maybe? YOSH will be in the house! Maybe there’ll be a game on. They always do better when we’re poet-ing.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……………. funny poet video

POETRY FEATURE:

BONUS RUCKUS: The “Awful, just AWFUL poetry I wrote in college” PERFORMANCE CHALLENGE! Thinking about Nora’s creative writing major and how it took some time to get into performance poetry, I thought about some of my own writing from college. Wow! Awful! Simply. Awful! I had two recurring themes in my college writing career, “Man, I hate this place” and “Damn, am I scared to leave!” Oh wait, I also wrote quite a bit about people who were “fake” and “just when, oh when dear god will I get a girlfriend!” Maybe you were doing better back then. Maybe you were awful… just, awful. Bring the awful stuff down this Monday, read it out loud and win a frosty draft prize on us! Aren’t you glad I didn’t say beer pong? I’m gonna go digging for one of my masterpiece of expletivcs right now!

DIRTY GERUND DUCT TAPE BAND rocks knowledge in music form every monday! They’re there for you, even when you’re not there for them! Right? Snack Donation? Contact Emilee at snacktimequeen@gmail.com before Sunday to have your praises sung! Just under a week left to support LOUDER THAN A BOMB MASSACHUSETTS YOUTH POETRY SLAM FESTIVAL indiegogo fund raiser!!!  Over 150 youth poets will be taking the stage at Mass ART in Boston! We should support the Gerunders of tomorrow!

POETRY FEATURE:

BONUS RUCKUS: IRON POET INTERIM CHAMPIONSHIP “MORRILL vs. ZAJON!” We expect a big night Monday, let’s make it even bigger by slapping a championship matchup to the mix! Current interim and past champion JACKIE MORRILL took the title from BOBBY GIBBS at our first upstairs friday show! Come watch her defend as we await the trophy and JENN MAHON to return from Texas! Standing in Jackie’s way for a shot a return to championship glory is plucky upstart NICOLE ZAJON! Three rounds of original poetic concoctions! Three judges scoring one to ten on three criteria, plus one secret ingredient provided by our heralded chairman YOSH SHARTIN!

Super fun show this past friday with HARLYM 125 and NIKI LUPARELLI thanks to those who came out! Working on even bigger shows this summer! Hpoing you all come through! Hoping DUCT TAPE ORCHESTRA keeps keeping on! Hope YOSH & CHICKEN never tire of us! Hope you get at EMILEE MORREALE snacktimequeen@gmail.com is you want to bring snacks to the DG. Hope Nick finds a tee shirt that fits! Hope springs eternal or something!

POETRY FEATURE: HARLYM 125 – By day, JAMELE ADAMS tends to the business of academia, as Dean of Diversity Services at Brandeis University w/ multitudes of undergraduate & graduate degrees in tow. But at night, this poetic juggernaut commands microphones and brings the diversity like few in the New England Spoken Word Circuit today! I’ve seen this poet inspire hundreds of teens to proclaim that they were kings and queens in youth centers. I’ve seen this poet make even the most seasoned erotic bards blush in jazz lounges. I’ve seen this man organize and referee underground poetry slam “fight club” battles at the annual National Poetry Slam at 4am. Whether he’s performing for 3 or 300, he brings intense heat, blistering wordplay and manic realism to every stage he touches. Originally hailing from NYC (incorporated into his stage name), this talented man now calls Boston his poetic home, earning several slots on fierce LIZARD LOUNGE National Poetry Slam Teams. Too many honors and accolades to mention here! This guy’s gonna tear the roof off the place. We’ll call the carpenters, contractors whatever, so folks can still drink at Ralph’s the next night!

VARIETY GUEST: We say variety guest, because this young lady can do it all! Blending comedy, music and the kind of mayhem even socialites can get down with! NIKI LUPARELLI is a Worcester Legend! The Dirty Gerund only thought we had the slightest chance at operating a monthly upstairs show because of the precedent set by Miss Luparelli during the classic Steamy Bohemian Residency Shows from years past! We’re not sure what she’ll be bringing to our stage this Friday, but best believe we’re going to be mightily impressed! Cabaret, Burlesque, Lounge, talent talent talent!!!! www.nikiluparalli.com for more!

GALLERY DE RUCKUS: This month we welcome ANA PEREZ, local acrylic abstract artist. She will be showing some original work as we adorn Ralph’s Upstairs for our monthly gallery sessoin when the doors open at 8:30pm. She will also paint live during the show, towards the end, (or as soon as the paint dries) we will offer it for auction! Bring your cash folks! You don’t want to miss this opportunity! Read all about her in the Worcester Magazine Article!

BONUS RUCKUSES: This is an upstairs showcase, so you know we’re dropping a couple popular bonus ruckuses on ya this month! First! About a month back, we threw down a new crazy challenge called the “THOMAS PYNCH-ON MY FACE” Challenge! Pynchon’s a very famous, highly regarded novelist! He also has an amusing name. Let’s celebrate his work by asking die-hard masochists to read chosen selections while wearing clothespins on their faces! Pinchy?! Get it? Right? Well we don’t care, we’ll find 3 fools to compete for a rad prize! The three competitors will all bid each other up and agree on a trial run. If everyone qualifies, we’ll let the real bidding begin and see who adults up to handle the most, then see if they can really do it! Ouch! Also the “FRANKENPOEM” Performance Challenge! We’re returning this less painful game back to life. 3 performers choose a bag of lines from poems and songs. Arrange them into some kind of order that almost kind of maybe makes sense, deliver it like you wrote it and win!

The Night won’t be complete without our Invitation Spotlight Showcase where we ask some of our favorite Monday Open Mic folks to perform with 2 poem slots to do their thing! Snack Time! Dirty Gerund Duct Tape Orchestra will also be on hand and backing you up, musically and literally!

Seven dollar cover at the door. 21 plus. ($2 off, if you came down this past Monday) Is it friday yet!!! No tuesday hangover, no excuses!

Help us end national poetry month here in the U.S. with yet another international guest poetry superstar! 

Originally a performance poet, CANDY ROYALLE has expanded across artistic boundaries with collaborative works that have seen her teaming up with photographers, film makers, visual artists and musicians. Most recently she has layered her rhythmic words and hypnotic voice with the unique sounds of funk, jazz and soul trio Sloppy Joe for their collaborative work “Stories by Starlight” which was nominated for the Sydney Fringe Festival Music Award. This builds on her experience working with both classical and contemporary musicians, including members of the London Symphony Orchestra, Sydney Symphony Orchestra and Australian Chamber Orchestra. Another recent collaboration was a commissioned work which saw Royalle’s words photographed on the shadow-lit bodies of nude models. Royalle also bends genres by integrating sound effects using FX and loop pedals in her performances. Royalle’s career has taken her across both the frontiers of performance art, and the world. She’s captivated audiences internationally, including Spain, the UK and America. In Australia, Royalle is a festival veteran. Her one-woman show ‘Love Spectacular’ sold-out at Sydney’s first Fringe Festival where it was nominated for the “Show-stopping Individual Performance Award” and continued to win rave reviews at Melbourne’s Midsumma Festival and the Adelaide Fringe. Royalle’s work has been covered in many major media outlets including Fairfax, News Limited, CNN and a host of local and street press. Check out www.candyroyalle.com

BONUS RUCKUS: THE UNITED NATIONS OF POETRY Guess where? Challenge! To help celebrate more international poets on tour, coming through our town, we want to send a shout out to fellow word writes from around the world! Here’s how it goes. NICHOLAS EARL DAVIS reads a piece, you buzz in and guess the country of origin. First to get three correct wins a tasty frosty prize!

Many many thanks for those who voted us BEST POETRY SERIES in WOMAG’s BEST OF READERS POLL! We continue to work hard to never let our Monday Night Folks down! We also are happy to report that our first ROAD SHOW at CLARK UNIVERSITY was a success! We got all kinds of good will and momentum for this “First Friday” Showcase Upstairs at Ralphs this friday as we welcome Boston Poetry Slam Legend HARLYM 125 plus the musical comedic stylings of none other than NIKKI LUPERELLI! Guest showcase, games, snacks, DUCT TAPE band! We’re kicking May off correct! Come down this Monday to get your $2 discount coupon for Friday’s Showcase! YOSH & CHICKEN are ready to get down, before they get upstairs! DR. CHRIS is rocking snacktime this Monday! Thanks! We are still in need of a guest visual artist for this Monday!

We’ll leave you with some great words from our feature!

POETRY FEATURE: “Upstairs food court writer in exile ANDREW GALAN lives in Canberra, Australia. He has featured at festivals and venues on Australia’s east coast, including YouAreHere, the Australian National Folk Festival, SpeedPoets, and Jam Jar Poetry. His poetry has been published in print and digital anthologies, magazines and phone applications in Australia, Chile, the United Kingdom, New Zealand, Ireland, and the United States, including in The Best Australian Poems 2011. With Hadley, Joel, and Amanda, he co-founded BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! at The Phoenix Pub. His poetry book That Place of Infested Roads will be published by Knives Forks and Spoons Press in 2013. Check out more at http://huitzilihuitl.blogspot.com.au/

BONUS RUCKUS: The “MY POEMS FLOW”… LIKE AN AUSTRALIAN TOILET!” Challenge! Straight from the pen of our own NICHOLAS EARL DAVIS “Bring a short poem (bonus points for an original but samples will be available) and deliver with conviction….in reverse! Sounds simple right..but wait for the twists! what twists? JUST WAIT AND YOU SHALL SEEE!!! Mwaahhahahha!

DUCT TAPE BAND is on it! Snacks are always plentiful! THANK YOU SO MUCH for giving big last week, $150 bucks to the American Red Cross in response to the Boston Marathon Tragedy! YOSH & CHICKEN rock mondays forever! Visual Artist ELIZABETH SOUSA rocked to the tune of $50 auction bid! Who will art our hearts this week! Also! If you want to support youth poetry in our fair state, check out this super sweet INDIE GOGO page supporting LOUDER THAN A BOMB MASSACHUSETTS! Join us this monday as we honor rock in all its forms!

POETRY FEATURE: By day, NANCY SCHOENEWOLF is a Holistic Mental Health Therapist; by evening once a week, she turns into the host of GotPoetry! Live in Providence, RI! Yes, Ryk McIntyre has released her from the co-host position and so GotPoetry! Live is in full swing with her hosting as the positive hiphophippie she loves to be, with Jerediah “Big Scythe” Gonzalez as the new co-host. This journey began 3 years ago, when strange words flew from Nancy’s mind to fingers to paper/computer. Free-range ideas have manifested in imagery and phrases that trickle into ears during recitations. She loves to travel to open mics across the lands of Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and occasionally New Jersey and Pennsylvania for featuring and just for the hell of it. She also loves yoga, spiritual shit, hugs and a good glass of beer at the end of the day. She has one chapbook published, and if all goes well, she’ll have another one ready by the time she returns to the Dirty Gerund! Got poetry? Got Nancy! We do and are psyched to welcome an old school Dirty Gerund Booster u Route 146 for her first feature with us!!!

BONUS RUCKUS: MARATHON MONDAY, I mean PATRIOTS DAY Short Poem Challenge! 26 and a half miles? Way too tiring! So is writing a whole bunch of words that good poems usually require. Let’s cut to the chase! Let’s celebrate the die hards who train for years just to unceremoniously poop themselves during that last mile! We want a short, SHORT poem about exhaustion, patriotism (which can also be exhausting) or any other aspect regarding marathons or drinking during marathons! Here’s the short breathed catch however, your poem has to be 26 and a half words! That’s it. No more no less! What’s a half word? I don’t know, figure it out! I’m tired just typing this dumb idea into a paragraph! We’ll bring the orange slices and award you a frosty draft prize!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT – we’re breaking records for folks who want to perform in the open mic. We can increase the number of people we put on, but we need to now start at 9PM in order to get this! We’ll be ready, set up and raring to flow at 9pm. If we can slightly augment this Monday Night Party Art Culture and just start a little bit earlier, just think of how many more folks we can let on stage! (2, 3?) Think of the possibilities! YOSH & CHICKEN are not thinking about that, but will think about anything you want if you tip them well! DUCT TAPE band rocks like few others! Thanks to Fletcher for his Caprese Snack Time! Who will bring this week? Email snacktimequeen@gmail.com to let us know? Visual Artist? Do we still do that? Ha ha! Of course we do! Come experience the culture! and the ennui! not really! maybe.

POETRY FEATURE – ARTIE MOFFA

BONUS RUCKUS: It’s time! IRON POET PRELIM MATCH-UP – who’s got the poetic acumen to take on three rounds of on the spot writing goodness? Who wants to take on Interim Champ JACKIE MORRIL for the right to test Champion JEN MAHON when she returns this summer? These competitors will receive a secret ingredient at the beginning of the show, compliments of Chairman YOSH SHARTIN. They will take it and create an original haiku, short poem and incorporate into a poem done before. They will then present their concoctions to the audience at the end of the night where three judges will score them on taste, presentation and use of the ingredient! Winner faces the champ next month for a shot at the title! Who’s competing? Well we’ve got some feelers out and hoping to drop some names you won’t want to miss!

Holy cow! That was a helluva upstairs show last friday! Thanks to all who came out, performed and threw down for some cultural activity in our fair city! Who’s got snacks for this Monday? Do us all a flavorful favor and  contact Emilee Morreale over at snacktimequeen@gmail.com to volunteer! Guest visual artist NATHAN WILKES just picked up the ink and paints a few weeks ago and tapping into some art, this screenwriter, didn’t know he had! Auction follows! NICHOLAS EARL DAVIS, DUCT TAPE BAND and YOSH & CHICKEN are always on hand to welcome you! I guess I am too! Woot!

POETRY FEATURE: MATTHEW RICHARDS – We finally get to see this newly turned 21 poet at the DG! Don’t be fooled though, he’s a grizzled veteran of the New England Performance Poetry Scene! Hailing from Manchester, New Hampshire, he was a member of the 2012 Lowell poetry slam team, as well as the 2011 Slam Free or Die team, on which he performed at the National Poetry Slam as their Rookie of the Year. He was an organizer in the Occupy New Hampshire movement, as well as the co-founder of New Hampshire Pride Fest, the first LGBTQ+ pride festival to ever take place in Manchester. He is currently working on a manuscript about his experiences in the Occupy movement and living alongside Manchester’s vulnerable, tentatively titled “Revolution is a Ruthless Boxcar.” He is very excited to finally be of age to read at the Gerund. The man wears sandals all year round and stands by his beliefs! He’s also a phenomenal poet and we can’t wait to let his words fly at you!

BONUS RUCKUS: The first ever “Spring’s FOUL!” Haiku / Dare Challenge! Yeah, we’ve all heard of the head to head haiku battle? These seventeen syllable poetic miracles come in handy while pondering the changing of seasons and all things nature-y. Bring 7 haiku that can celebrate spring, or fool us into thinking spring’s coming when it’s actually… more ugh! We’ll take 4 competitors and do a couple rounds of head to head competition. The winner will receive a totally sweet prize! The loser… here’s the twist, will have to choose between two mini-pies. One of them is totally sweet. The other, FOUL!!!!! April Fools. April Foul! Don’t blame me, Nick announced it last week without my creative input!

Something I have super input on is the APRIL 5th UPSTAIRS HOTNESS THAT IS 1st FRIDAY DG UPSTAIRS RUCKUS REVIEW!!! Featuring the incredible REGIE GIBSON & MUSICAL GUEST LOST PROFIT$!!! Click on the link and click attend, then send it to your friends!!!! Big time! Come to the show this Monday and receive a $2 coupon off the friday cover! Duct Tape Band Plays great! Yosh and Chicken still stinging from the Bruins loss to the Canadiens! Miss Emilee says you all dodged a rice cake shaped bullet this week thanks to Nick’s Mom & Matthew who came through on snack donation! Visual Arts? Meh… I think someone’s on that?

FEATURE: KAL CHAMPLAIN aka 5th ELAMENT

BONUS RUCKUS: “NICHOLAS EARL DAVIS POEM? or RANDOM RANT?” Quiz Show Guess Challenge! Have you been sticking around for the second half of our shows? Catch co-curator and host NICHOLAS EARL DAVIS’ amazing poetic musings on love lost, love found, drinking, Worcester and comas? Do you think you’re on top of the pantheon of his poetic prowess? Well, prove it! I’ll read lines from Nick’s work, as well as random lines he’s texted me, or left dangling over the pages of social media. You guess if this is from a poem or a random conversation (sometimes the most poetic) and win a shot of something harmful on us. Maybe a candy bar. I don’t know. Can’t decide!

YOU should DECIDE to come party with us on APRIL 5th for our next upstairs jamboree featuring the likes of REGIE GIBSON & LOST PROFIT$! We’ll have special discount cards for the next two monday shows, come show support and we’ll support your wallet back to the tune of two bucks! DUCT TAPE BAND is in full swing and have been killing it lately! WE ARE IN AN OFFICIAL RICE CAKE ALERT! RICE CAKE ALERT! If nobody writes Emilee at snacktimequeen@gmail.com in the next couple of days to volunteer a snack for this Monday, yup, it’s RICE CAKES, the flavorless kind! Boooooooo!!! YOSH & CHICKEN can eat all the chili they want, what are you going to do?